there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
