You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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