What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
