Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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