How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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