how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize