i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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