i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
