marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
