Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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