last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize