why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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