Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
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last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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