Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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