please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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