I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
