You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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