I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
