But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
