if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
there is puke in my bra ... again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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