Soap is not a condiment
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
