Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
