if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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