3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
