I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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