Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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