I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
