Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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