Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
