Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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