Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
