If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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