Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
