her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
