Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

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  (586): Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet. http://tfl.nu/oze0
  Replies (13) Good night (769) Bad night (3825)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4304) Bad night (1068)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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  (678): I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you. http://tfl.nu/ocnt
  Replies (1) Good night (2067) Bad night (875)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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  (484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c
  Replies (16) Good night (981) Bad night (2877)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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  (563): She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me. http://tfl.nu/so2a
  Replies (35) Good night (8000) Bad night (1899)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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  (215): Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places. http://tfl.nu/tyy2
  Replies (5) Good night (3095) Bad night (797)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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  (360): We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent. http://tfl.nu/utkw
  Replies (8) Good night (3349) Bad night (1442)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."

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  (828): after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...." http://tfl.nu/7e08
  Replies (16) Good night (3241) Bad night (923)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.

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  (516): I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology. http://tfl.nu/5jdj
  Replies (6) Good night (667) Bad night (1113)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

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  (503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx
  Replies (13) Good night (1358) Bad night (524)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.

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  (603): Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building. http://tfl.nu/icp2
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (732)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)

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  (305): Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables) http://tfl.nu/t7ni
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (444)
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  (841): View more from

  He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.

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  (841): He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish. http://tfl.nu/ps72
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.

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  (912): I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen. http://tfl.nu/asrc
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (229)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.

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  (605): Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop. http://tfl.nu/lhlx
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (103)

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