Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.