come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
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mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.