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• (703): View more from Virginia

  the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow. You named your rash.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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• (619): View more from California

  The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.

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