I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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