Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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(703): View more from Virginia

okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

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(903): View more from Texas

pop tarts are not kleenex

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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.

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