Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers