There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
