I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
