i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
