So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him