It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize