If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
