apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
