.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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