she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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