Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
