The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
