my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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