woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
