Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
