You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
