Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
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after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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