the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Damn victory sex feels great
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
