Me too!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I believe in your delicious
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
