she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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