I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize