My hand turned me down
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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