my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
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