my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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