I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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