I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
