I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize