My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
