we're blogging at a bar
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
