Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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