I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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