even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
