Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
should my penis look like a turkey
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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