chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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