My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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